aka jena

If you’re ever looking to read something epically cringe-worthy

Try signing into a reeeaaallly old email address and reading love letters you’ve sent and received.

I started by reading some that I received in 2004, and laughed cruely at my then-boyfriend’s fruity poetic serenades, page long run-on sentences, and Saves the Day quotations—-accentuated with pastel fonts—-all while patting myself on the back for never being uncool like this loser. 

But now I’m looking at the ones I sent, and I can say with absolute certainty, I’ve never felt more embarrassed by my own words than I do right now. I can’t even finish reading these! Haha, I don’t know if I can ever forgive my current self, for how dramatic and prosey my 18-year-old self was.
This is even more painful to re-live than when I found a pop music demo I recorded the previous year! 

I take back every bad thing I’ve said about the aging process. The older one gets, the farther away one is from his or her teenage self. So bring on the wrinkles and glandular deterioration! 



***BONUS*** Here are a couple of the most awesomely cringe-worthy excerpts:

Then-Boyfriend: “I cant ask you to look for that boy you fell in love with one year ago he is locked in a room deep in my heart looking for the door to get out but its too dark he cant see a thing.
“I love you jena. you’re my girl. so let me swallow my pride because its better than swallowing blood. I dont need a god damn beautiful thing in life. But god did you look so good in a skirt I will miss your everything. you wont miss a thing my life will end tragic. im glad you got out.”

Then-Self: “I care about you, but its all wrong now. I’m sorry. You’ll always be that crazy love that I silently reminisce about, and someone will interrupt my daze and say “What are you thinking about?” and I’ll just smile and say “Nothing.” 

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