1.  

    Oh my god.

    My mom just called me from the grocery store and tried to put me on the phone with Paul Gaustad, who she’s been telling me is “the one” for like two years.

    She called me. From the grocery store. To try and set me up with a Sabre.

    I can just imagine what she was saying to him to try and coerse him into talking with a perfect stranger. And that makes me laugh wicked hard.

    Anyways I’ll never know, because I hung up as soon as she passed the phone to him.

    I love my life story so far. Its unbeatable.