February 2011
7 posts
Click here to follow my new blog! (cos this one is... →
Hey dudes! You're following me on the wrong... →
If you don’t, I’ll be so mad at you.
MY NEW TUMBLR! Follow me! :-) →
“Avant-garde music is sort of research music. You’re glad someone’s...”
– Brian Eno
July 2010
4 posts
If you're ever looking to read something epically...
Try signing into a reeeaaallly old email address and reading love letters you’ve sent and received. I started by reading some that I received in 2004, and laughed cruely at my then-boyfriend’s fruity poetic serenades, page long run-on sentences, and Saves the Day quotations—-accentuated with pastel fonts—-all while patting myself on the back for never being uncool...
“”What if you could date Robert Pattinson…but he pooped himself...”
– Jeff Nixon (my brother)
June 2010
2 posts
Click here, and follow my new tumblr, "Netflix... →
Follow my new tumblr, "Netflix Watch Instantly... →
March 2010
1 post
Customer Serviceee: Stay Away from Me →
Sea snakes. Maximum size - 9.8 disgusting ft. They have small beady eyes that can see straight through your skin and nostrils that are located (freakishly) on their backs. SSs are air junkies that stumble up to the surface regularly to get high. They’re all jobless and many sea snakes are…
(I think you have to click the link to read the rest. Tumblr has changed since I last came on...
January 2010
22 posts
Hippos are terrifying.
HOLY SHIT, KATE. Hippos? More like hippNOs! Hippnothankyous! Imagine if that kinda stuff happened in human life. That’d be WACK! (Is that how wack is spelled? I’m not hip to the youth slang.)
windowless:
A few years ago, I invited my friend Jay over to eat Wegmans Chinese food (never a good idea) and watch Planet Earth at 3 a.m. After the gripping Grasslands episode, we were...
1 tag
“Wait—-you can get email on your phone now? GREAT! Now I can send you all...”
– My mother, the apparent God fanatic.
515. LAUGHTER ISN'T THE BEST MEDICINE WHEN YOU...
I just purchased a "BlackBerry" cellular...
I never wanted a fancy shmancy phone, but seein as I saw one on ebay for so cheap, I couldn’t pass it up.
What this means: I’ll no longer have to borrow my friends’ phones to dirty text my man. (But probably still will because it was really funny. And I think Kate did too when she accidentally on purpose read her sent box.)
7 Popular 'Chick Flicks' That Secretly Hate Women →
Helloooooo truth bombs! haha, this is some pretty great writing. Click, and read.
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HOLY CRAP!
The last episode of Lost Season 5 just blew my mind more so than any previous programming!
It also put me in a state of sheer phobic panic for a good 5 minutes or more.
All the pieces are coming together. Wow. Blown away. Somebody get me a chill pill, stat.
Oh my god.
My mom just called me from the grocery store and tried to put me on the phone with Paul Gaustad, who she’s been telling me is “the one” for like two years.
She called me. From the grocery store. To try and set me up with a Sabre.
I can just imagine what she was saying to him to try and coerse him into talking with a perfect stranger. And that makes me laugh wicked hard.
...
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December 2009
55 posts
My New Years Resolution:
Live every week…like its shark week.
Thanks Tracy Jordan. I know what I gotta do.
Dear Kate LaBrake, (u no who u R)
I hope you’re feeling better. If you’re not, I could come over after work with a variety of soups and elixers that’ll knock ur socks off. I could also drop off movies and tuck you in.
I easily could’ve emailed this to you, but I thought devoting a tumble to you would make you feel more specialer.
Did it?
2 tags
#Anti-Aging Remedies
If I don’t cut it out with all this “smiling” and “laughing” crap, I’m going to get such bad wrinkles. And I can’t compromise my facial integrity like that. So from now on I’m restricting my mood to mellow for longevity’s sake. People will have a hard time getting used to it at first, but I’ll blink twice when I find something humorous.
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I need to dance on New Years Eve.
I haven’t felt good doing that since me and Kate’s epic Chippewa bar hop early this past summer. And I’m pretty sure that was the only time in 2009.
#”I LOVE CHIPPEWA! WHY DON’T WE COME HERE EVERY WEEKEND?!”
I just want to start ‘010 dancing is all.
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"Euphemisms" by my buds Ryan & Chase
(I bolded my personal favorites)
hang’n’bang
pounce’n’bounce
hide’n’hump
ram’n’scram
cum’n’gone
blow’n’go
rail’n’bail
hit’n’split
hump’n’jump
wreck’n’trek
sex it’n’exit
pump’n’dump
gyrate’n’migrate
maul ass’n’haul ass
...
How totally uncouth.
On TV they keep showing “The Dead Girl” starring…you guessed it: Brittany Murphy. Of all her movies, they keep showing this particular one nobody ever saw.
They’re like, Get it? Do you get it? Cuz she’s like dead and stuff? Do you gettttt it?
Idiots.
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“THERE AIN’T NO RULES IN THE PARTY MANSION! CHECK IT OUT, BITCHES!”
“Paging Dr. Faggot”
